When someone refuses a request of you, it's difficult to get them to change their mind. This originates from a psychological effect that an individual gives additional weight to their own decisions once they've made them. Parents of young children might recognise the thought. Ever regret saying no to your child while tears where flooding the room?
Zoe Chance suggests hypothetical questions - a soft ask - to gauge the sentiment for an individual locks-in. This might sound like: "Is this the kind of thing you might be interested in?" or "How comfortable would you doing X?". Soft asks are an easy way to gain valuable information. It shows if its worthwhile to pursue the question.
Chance, Zoe - Influence is your superpower